Parents these days get to potty-train their kids with actual pooping flamingos! What a time to be alive. Little Live Pets Gotta Go Flamingo Interactive Plush Toy That Eats. I had to make do with whatever bribery I had on hand. I have zero doubt my hard-to-potty-train son would’ve been dropping logs left and right in exchange for watching this ridiculous toy take a dump in a tiny plastic see-through toilet. This shitting flamingo is a billion times better and I am super jealous that parents today have this option.
Absent the magic of this incredible pooping flamingo - which I learned via a quick Google search is called the “Little Live Gotta Go Flamingo” and was apparently a hot toy for Christmas 2020? - I was forced to use M&Ms to bribe my kids to pee and poop in the toilet. My kids are 14 and 11, long past the days of potty training. That kid was positively fucking delighted. The flamingo did it! “He poopin!!” my friend’s toddler squealed for the camera. This … was something coming out of that thing’s butt?! As I watched with a mix of fascination and horror, a beige, gooey substance oozed from the flamingo’s bum and into the miniature toilet, which I only then registered was clear so as to enable the viewing of the expulsion of said gooey substance. Okay, cool, so the flamingo is going to pretend to poop. This bright pink flamingo was sitting on a tiny plastic toilet, getting ready to take a dump. But wait … was it actually dancing? No … dear god, was that … a toilet? Yes.
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